One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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