Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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