Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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