he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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