After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
