Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
