ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
