3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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