my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
