Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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