I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
