so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize