We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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