Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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