I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
