I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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