shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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