She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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