drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
