I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
