Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
