He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
