She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize