I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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