Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
