My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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