The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
