walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
