I'm sorry my penis didn't work
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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