I swear god or herbie drove my car home
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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