My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
