Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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