Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't deserve a penis
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
God, I missed his penis.
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