Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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