she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
