when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
