found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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