He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
