I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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