you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
