you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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