Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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