It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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