but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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