I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
