So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
we should paint friendship bongs
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
