I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
