There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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