after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He felt like a one man threesome
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
