im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
