he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
