last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
