You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
