how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
