ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize