P.S. I can't hear my feet
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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