What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I would fuck him just for his dog
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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