I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
