he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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